Happy 2 Year Anniversary!!!!!!

Hey Wonderful Folks,

We decided to write a list of the 10 most important things we learned over the 2 years we have been married! It seems like the time just flew right on by. When we first got married, it was just me hanging out with my best friend. Now a family of 2 became a family of FOUR in such a short time.

  1. PRAY Together- This is the most important thing that we learned. We have to continue to pray for and with one another.
  2. Always keep open communication- Talk, talk, and talk some more. We found that this eliminates a lot of assumptions and misunderstandings.
  3. We do NOT go to bed angry- We resolve our issues before going to bed and don’t let things linger on to the next day, week or even month.
  4. We FORGIVE LIKE CRAZY- There are going to be disagreements, hurts, misunderstandings and you’re going to have to be quick to forgive. Jim happens to be better at this than I am lol.
  5. Spend Quality Time Together- Even though we are new to parenthood and want to spend every waking moment with our little man, we have got to spend time alone to nourish our relationship.
  6. Be Intimate- Make time to not only be alone together, but to enjoy each other intimately; and NOT AS A CHORE!
  7. Support each other’s dreams and goals-Jim is super ambitious and had a goal to get yet another promotion and he also put a date on when he wanted that to happen. So I put it on the vision board, started speaking to him as if he already had the position, and even suggested he change his attire as if he already had it, and sure enough he got the position before the date that he set to get it. (Won’t God Do It!)
  8. Have date nights-We realize we are still married and Jim always says it’s important to stay connected, stay together and stay in love. So we have our night which is Tuesday and that night it’s all about US. We do NOT budge on this night or make other plans because it is truly the ONLY night we get to have to enjoy one another.
  9. DO NOT EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO MAKE YOU HAPPY-This is a big one because every single day is not going to be peaches and cream! I notice that some people will say they are so unhappy because of what their spouse is NOT doing. But what are you doing to make yourself happy. Jim is the king at this. See he is already a happy person so he is going to do what makes him happy. If he wants to watch a football game, play a video game, or listen to music then he is going to do that and he is perfectly happy doing it and he always encourages me to do it too. I love reading books, making t-shirts and cards, and shopping. So he encourages me to do the things that make me happy. Jim works overnight and he is a manager so he is gone a lot and I work during the day. It’s pretty easy to say, I’m so alone and I’m so unhappy because he’s not home, or he’s not helping me, or he’s this or he’s that. But then I had to take a good look at myself and snatch my whole life and remember, there was a book I said I wanted to read but couldn’t and things I wanted to do but didn’t have the time. Dare to dream again and remember your hobbies and the things you used to do so you won’t get lost in marriage and expect your spouse to meet your every need. You aren’t needy like that; you’ve just misplaced yourself. So go find yourself and all of the things you love and dust off those dreams. This was an ah ha moment for me.
  10. FIGHT FAIR- There are going to be disagreements and arguments at times. But never hit below the belt, call names, bring up old things, get violent or anything like that. Fight in love and always respect one another. We live by this. We are close friends so we aren’t going there with each other. Even in a heated argument, we don’t call each other names and we are always respectful to one another.

Marriage takes work but it is a job I absolutely LOVE! We learn so many things along the way. Now we are parents and get the opportunity to pour into our children and love on them. Below are some photos from our Anniversary Celebration. We went to Sojo Spa Club in Edgewater, NJ.

Love you guys,

Team Holmes

 

Halloween Or NAH?

Hey Family,

Someone asked me what type of costume I was getting this year for Juju’s first Halloween. And my first response was he’s not wearing a costume, he’s a baby. And they asked me why and I said because I never wore costumes or went trick or treating so no need for him to do that either. And they said to me, you’re simply depriving him of something just because you couldn’t do it. So I talked to my Best Friend ever about it, MY HUSBAND!!!!!

And he said I see nothing wrong with getting him a cute little costume and taking pictures of him in it or him going trick or treating. He said when he grew up, they did not get to dress up or anything but they did go trick or treating. I’m like really, Babe, I NEVER got to go trick or treating! In fact, I never got to wear costumes either and I was even taken out of daycare and preschool when they had Halloween parties and events for the kids. So he said, well we can’t just deprive him of things just because we didn’t have them. And I thought hmmmm, “Am I depriving him of something simply because I didn’t get to do it”? So I told Jim to let me think a little more about it since something in me was just against putting him in one and I had to further investigate what that “something” was.

I didn’t want to over spiritualize it, as my husband would say lol! But I did want to give it some more thought because I still wasn’t too beat about it. So I ended up looking up the Origin of Halloween. I know what y’all thinking. Oh boy, Sharmaine it’s really not that deep! But it was for me so I researched it and found that it originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts.

On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, people thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks and dress up as ghosts and witches and goblins when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits which were evil spirits. So, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter. So basically they would either have to trick the ghosts or give them treats so they would be left alone.

I’m like all of this just sounds dark, scary and not so fun at all. I immediately thought of Philipians 4:8.

People throwing eggs, and vandalizing people’s homes are not something to be representing the night before. It didn’t represent light, lovely, and sweet things. And I realized that although it does seem rather harmless to put him in a pumpkin or batman costume and take him trick or treating, what it represents to me does not seem so harmless. And I realized that that “something” that was getting to me about dressing him up was simply conviction. So I explained it to my husband who said, I knew you would research it all; that’s what you do”. But after talking to me about it, he mentioned that he never thought about it that way either and we made the decision together, Nah, no costumes for Prince Juju. He’s not deprived of anything and neither was I. I was always at church on Halloween anyway in some kind of play or somewhere enjoying a “Holy Ghost” party so together we decided that’s a no on the costume for Halloween. This is not a law; this is simply MY conviction. Some people are so over the top that they turn every little thing into a law and try to divide groups of people based on a conviction that THEY have. Does that mean that when my nieces and nephews have on their costumes and their looking adorable, I’m going to preach to their parents and condemn them about it! Absolutely NOT! I love seeing them enjoy themselves.

A friend disclosed to me that it was her conviction to stop eating meat and become a vegetarian. I was super supportive and understood why she wanted to make this change in her life. She didn’t beat me in the head with a reason why it’s a law. And I’m not going to stop pork chopping it up because of her conviction either. That’s between her and God and I support her 100%. Why do we have to be divided because I eat meat and she doesn’t. Why should my sisters and I be divided because their kids go trick or treating and mine doesn’t?

Another friend of mine’s conviction is drinking any kinds of alcohol because it’s a generational curse and in her family line alcoholism is a huge deal. It doesn’t mean that she isn’t going to be friends with us if we want to enjoy a glass of wine at an event. It just means that, that is her conviction and we refuse to be divided about something some one is working on.

                                            

                                            

It’s like church for example. Back in the day, you dressed up to go to church. In the Presbyterian Church, women wore super huge hats and suits and men wore suits with ties and jackets. That was the culture and the tradition and some churches still follow it to this day which isn’t wrong but then they start turning it into a law about what one should wear to church. Like you’re any less holy if you have on jeans and a polo, along with some sneakers. One Pastor preached to his congregation in Skinny/ripped jeans and there are other pastors who wear robes. I know plenty of people on fire for God that wears skinny jeans, t shirts and heels to service. They don’t love the Lord any less than those who wear hats and suits. If it’s your conviction to wear hats and suits, DO YOU! If you are comfortable in casual clothes or you possibly have to run in work after service so you are even in a uniform during service, DO YOU!

Let’s group hug for a minute because we are divided for absolutely no reason. If we spent less time judging and being divided over the silliest little things and stop getting overly offended by what someone chooses to do, I think we could get a lot more done and we would have more unity!

Stay Tuned!

  • We are enjoying our babymoon at the House of Bread and off to Myrtle Beach in a few days!
  • Heavenly Accessories is still taking shape behind the scenes
  • First Trimester is OVER. Second Trimester has begun!

We Love you like crazy,

Team Holmes

Guess WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So guess what’s up with Team Holmes!

 

First of all, let me just start by saying I absolutely miss every single one of you! It seems like it’s been forever so I figured since I have a bit of time, I needed to catch you guys up on a few things! First of all, We Are Back LOL!

So where do I even start??? We left off with the 31 days of marriage back in the month of May where we all were inspired to get some wisdom back up in our relationships and let me tell you, I had to put all of those practices to use these past couple of months lol! Then in June, we were calling all vendors because we will be launching our accessories business, Heavenly Accessories really soon. We had plans to do it the Month of October but with all of our latest news, we decided to put it off for just a couple more months, but not to worry. We should be having a really good sale for all of you guys before Christmas!

So down to the juicy news. I was preparing to write you guys in August but on August 5, 2017, we found out the most shocking news we could ever imagine and we not at all prepared for! WE ARE EXPECTING ANOTHER BABY! Now when I tell you this was absolutely positively NOT planned, I mean it. We were so shocked we didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Then, we went to the doctor to make sure that we weren’t crazy and we found out we are actually having another baby. I’m like, for real Jesus. You do know I just had a baby? Am I ready for another one? Can I even handle the one I have? All sorts of things entered my mind, but I had to suck it up because this is about to GO DOWN! So we have just been preparing ourselves and our home to fit yet another member of the Holmes Family.

Now get this, the new baby is also due in April, so Juju is now having an IRISH TWIN. The new baby and Prince Julian are only a week apart. How crazy is that y’all! They could even have the same birthday! Julian is getting so big now and he is 6 months old.

Right now he is enjoying sitting up, trying to walk, eating sweet potatoes, oatmeal, pears, peaches, applesauce and a variety of other things. He is just as bubbly and sweet as can be. His first word, of course, was Dada! he get a millions kisses a day and loves smiling and chit chatting with people. He also LOVES music and his favorite television show to date is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

Now for the sex of the new baby!!!!!! OMG guys, We are having another BOY! Can you believe it! We thought for sure we were having a girl since there are so many girls on both sides of our family. But God is blessing us with boys and we are grateful. So we will be welcoming Julius James Holmes in April 2018! I am officially outnumbered. I am 15 weeks pregnant this week and am doing very well. Julius is an active little man. He is already doing somersaults in my belly. I got to see him on the ultrasound and he is quite the busy bee already. I am grateful and thankful that my pregnancy is going very well and I am feeling great.

Keep us ALL in your prayers. Oh and PS, we celebrated our 2 year Anniversary on September 19th, so next week I will share photos and Jim and I will be on here together talking about what we learned from marriage the second year!

Stay Tuned! We love you like crazy!

Team Holmes

 

 

 

 

CALLING ALL VENDORS

Guess what’s going down y’all. Heavenly Accessories is launching this fall and would love to invite you to participate in the fun. Are you a business owner who would like to showcase your business at our launch party? Well we would love to have you. This October we will be launching our pop up shop at the Italian American Club in Scotch Plains, New Jersey. There will be food, fashion accessories, clothes, make up and skin care, specialty items, etc. There will be over 20 different vendors and the best part of all is that the event is free and open to the public so there is unlimited earning potential and you can invite everyone you know!

The vendor participation fee is only $60. You will be provided with a table to sell your products and showcase your business and you keep all of your profit. Inquire for more info today by contacting Sharmaine Holmes at heavenlyaccessories2017@gmail.com. If you are interested in being a vendor, please let me know what kind of business you are showcasing and the type of products you will be selling.

I can’t wait to hang out with all of you Boss Ladies!

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 31

To Do: Read Proverbs 31

Focus Point: The Entire Chapter

In a society that points us towards everything except Jesus, it is easy for all of us to get pretty discouraged. Proverbs 31 paints a beautiful picture of a woman of God and her unwavering faith. The verses in this chapter describe how a virtuous woman cares for her family and community as well as her work ethic. She is encouraging and supportive and she does not complain as she works tirelessly to provide for her family. She nurtures and builds her household as she is a good steward of her resources and makes wise decisions. She lives with purpose and makes preparations for each day. She is strong enough to complete her duties because she finds strength in the Lord. She perseveres through hard times, even when she may not feel like it and sacrifices her time and her comfort. She is well rounded and is much more than just a wife and mother; she is a provider. She reaches out to the needy and is caring and compassionate to those around her. She does not worry because she trusts in the Lord’s plan for her life. Now that we have come to the end of our series I pray that you are all wiser in your marriages. I am reading the Book The 5 Love Languages right now and it is awesome. I recommend it to anyone who wants to wise up and understand their spouse better.

Here are 17 Characteristics of this Proverbs 31 Woman that I thought stood and the woman that helped me become the Woman I am today.

  1. VIRTUE – “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” vs 10 
  2. FAITHFULNESS-“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life”. vs 11
    My Mom

     

  3. REVERENCE-“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” vs 12 
  4. STRENGTH-“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” vs 17
    My cousin Jojo

     

  5. ENDURANCE-“She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.” vs 18
    mom & grandma

     

  6. Well Rounded- “Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.” vs 19 
  7. CHARITABLE-“She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.” vs 20 
  8. PROVIDER-“She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes”. vs 21
  9. WELL DRESSED- “She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.” vs 22 
  10. WIFE OF A GOOD HUSBAND-“Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders”. vs 23 
  11. HONORABLE-“She is closed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future”. vs 26
  12. WISE-“When she speaks, her words are wise…” vs 26
    Dr. Jones

     

  13. KIND-“…and she gives instructions with kindness.” vs 26                                                                      
  14. GOOD MOTHER-“She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.” vs 27
  15. PRAISEWORTHY- “Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. vs 28                                 
  16. ATTAINS/EXCELS- “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world. But you surpass them all!”
  17. FEAR OF THE LORD-“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will greatly praised.” vs 30        

Affirmation of the day:

I am a Proverbs 31 Woman!

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 30

To Do: Read Proverbs 30

Focus Point: Proverbs 30:23

Today we are reading through this chapter and writing down everything that comes to mind concerning your marriage. This is all about you and what you need in order to become wiser in your own marriage. My Pastor always says that marriage is a designer original and only YOU know what YOU need to make yours work.

The scripture that stuck out to me when I read it was Proverbs 30:23. Verse 21 says, “There are three things that make the earth tremble”….Then verse 23 goes on to say,, “A bitter woman who finally gets a husband”.

This stood out to me because it made me remember that in marriage, at some point, the pretending stops. Who you really are is going to come out at one way or another. If you’re insecure while you’re single, your insecurities are just going to be heightened in marriage. They are not going to disappear. If you’re a bitter woman and you finally find a husband, you’re just going to be more bitter which is why the scripture says this makes the earth tremble.

It made me think of all of the things that went on in my past and how I can’t allow them to enter my marriage. Past relationships, past pains and hurts have no place in our marriages and if we do not constantly work on ourselves and use the wisdom God gave to build our marriages up, we will never be content in them.

Affirmation of the day!

Every day in every way my spouse and I are happier and happier.

 

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 29

To Do: Read Proverbs 29

Focus Point: Proverbs 29:20 & 22

These two scriptures definitely go together. The New Living Translation of Proverbs 29:22 says, ” An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

These scriptures definitely apply to marriage.When it comes to your spouse, use wisdom when it comes to how you respond to them. The word of God says, “There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking”. Speaking without thinking leads you to getting angry and then starting fights. God is warning us against this in these 2 verses.

In marriage, it may seem difficult to do but it’s so important to think before speaking to avoid misunderstandings. Often times long-time intimate partners lose awareness. They are so familiar with each other that they just expect automatic forgiveness when they say something in a hurtful way. They forget to THINK that a more caring delivery is more likely to get them what they want.

Some people in long term committed relationships forget to think before they speak because they assume their partners would not get offended and understand what they really mean, but some things just down sting. Think about the very beginning of your relationship. You watched everything you said because you did not want to hurt their feelings. You have to go back to that now!

For example: When I was Pregnant with Prince Julian, I threw up most of the pregnancy and my husband had all of the cravings so he actually gained weight with me. What if I had said geesh babe, looks like we are both pregnant for real as big as you’ve gotten. ( I definitely did not say this, just using it as an example). But had I said something like that, even if it was jokingly, it could have hurt his feelings. If it were the very beginning of the relationship, I may have thought long and hard about how to say that and it would have come out like, Let’s get a gym membership and workout together because I want us to be healthy and for you to stick around for our future children.

Remembering how to say things in an effective and caring way doesn’t mean compromising integrity or honesty. Partners who have been together for a while need that kind of openness with each other. They want accurate feedback from someone they trust. But that isn’t a license for delivering truth with a pointed spear.

Affirmation of the day:

I use my words to uplift my spouse every single day.

 

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 28

To Do: Read Proverbs 28

Focus Point: Verses 14 & 28

Today we are going to read Proverb 28 and meditate on it. Listen to what the Lord is saying concerning your marriage and write it down in your journal!

 Affirmation of the day:
I am honest and open with my spouse!

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 27

To Do: Read Proverbs 27

Focus Point: Proverbs 27:17

There is mutual benefit in the rubbing of two iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise, the Word of God is a double-edged sword that we are to sharpen one another with in times of meeting, fellowship, or any other interaction. The proverb also indicates the need for constant fellowship with one another. Man was not made to be alone, so in our marriages we are to devote ourselves to teaching, fellowship, praying and other activities that provide opportunities for sharpening one another.

Affirmation of the day:

I sharpen my spouse every single day!

31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 26

To Do: Read Proverbs 26

Focus Point: Proverbs 26:18-19

We all may know someone like this who says something insulting to you that causes you harm and then when you confront them about it, they say that they were only joking. Now take a moment to think about your relationship and your spouse and ask yourself if you’re using wisdom when it comes to how you are speaking to them.

Are you being offensive  or hurtfully sarcastic? Are you a person who likes to say what you think with humor as if that somehow makes your words more tolerable? We are not to use supposed humor to allow us to insult and hurt others; we are to model the love of Christ.

Look at the words of the scripture. Such a person that hides insults behind his supposed humor is like  a man who hurls flaming arrows. That means this person is dangerous, destructive, and deadly and you must watch out for them.

Now this is not saying that you should not have a sense of humor. Of course we can laugh with each other, we just need not be so quick to laugh at one another or put one another down. We can find other ways to laugh with joy and not with malice. We need to be wise and learn to love each other with our words and with our deeds.

Affirmation of the Day:

I always use my words to lift up my spouse!