10 Habits Wealthy People DONT Have

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We wrote a post about the 10 habits of wealthy that stood out to us! So this time, we decided to write about the 10 habits that wealthy people don’t have. If we want to be successful, I suggest we kick some of these habits out of our lives.

Success means something different to every person, just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It is up to you to determine what success means for you, and how you go about breeding success in your life.  There are definitely hindrances to success, but not to worry because you have the power to control and overcome these obstacles.

 

  1. Making Excuses

It is time to stop blaming other people for why we don’t get what we want and take responsibility for our own mistakes. We all make our own choices and our own mistakes so we are going to have to stop justifying our poor choices and attributing our lack of success to things outside of our control. Successful people don’t do this!

  1. Focusing on the Negatives

Yes, there are negative circumstances in life that you have no control over as well as positive ones, so you are capable of living with a positive perspective. If you want to cultivate success in your life then you need to concentrate on all the good; not that you should disregard the negative, but you don’t have to give it so much of your attention.

  1. Fearing Failure

Successful people know that, at some point or another, YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL! There is no reason to fear it. Rather, you should embrace it, learn from it, and ultimately improve from it. When you are successful you know you are always trying your best. When you fail it is not a reflection of you as a person. View failure as an opportunity to grow, not as something to be feared.

  1. Looking for the Easy Way

Success isn’t supposed to be an improbable venture where you have to overcome a certain amount of adversity and hardship, but successful people are not just strolling through life on cruise control. Sometimes you have to push yourself and get out of your comfort zone and aim to reach your maximum potential.  That is a success itself.

  1. Beating Yourself Up

Since you wouldn’t ever beat yourself up physically, you shouldn’t do it emotionally and mentally? Learning how to skillfully deal with your thoughts and emotions when you are facing adverse situations is crucial to being successful.

It’s absolutely ok to get upset over things and to express your emotions in an appropriate manner and even be unhappy from time to time. It is going to happen, but there is a time and a place for everything. Don’t beat yourself up about things that have already happened. Focus your attention on pressing towards your goals. toward your goals.

  1. Being Ungrateful

The best way to establish more contentment in your life is to be more grateful. If you want to push away happiness, joy, and bliss then be ungrateful. Gratitude breeds happiness but it also breeds success. If you are grateful for your life and everything in it you are going to have a less complicated time achieving wealth and accomplishing your goals. I don’t just mean financial wealth because wealth includes all kinds of valuables. I am not saying that all financially wealthy people are grateful, and therefore, successful, or that all financially poor people are ungrateful, and therefore unsuccessful. Being ungrateful is not congruent with getting ahead in life. If you crave success than observe everything you are grateful for. Your gratitude will serve as a compass for your life. It will guide your decision-making, and lead you to success.

  1. Concentrating Solely on Your Needs

Focusing ONLY on yourself is not going to help you attain success. You could be the wealthiest person on the planet, and it is apparent that you are extremely successful. If you accrued your wealth by taking advantage of people, or by being selfish and egotistical, you are not successful in our opinion. You probably wouldn’t be very happy either. The best way to succeed in life is by helping someone else!

  1. Getting Distracted

You have to get rid of the but in your life!!! You were going to start writing your book but…You were going to launch your dream business but…You were going to travel the world but…We have to get rid of those statements.  Things definitely come up and life takes you on a different course but don’t allow yourself to become distracted from reaching your dreams. Don’t let these distractions move you further and further away from your passion.

  1. Living Aimlessly

It is your responsibility to ascertain your life goals and objectives. Being successful means you are fulfilling your life’s purpose every day. Whether your purpose is super ambitious such as solving world hunger or more feasible like being happy, doesn’t matter. The point is that you are aiming to be the best you can be. Steadily wandering through life without any ambitions or without contributing anything to society is not what successful people do.

  1. Giving Up

When you face an improbable obstacle in life how do you respond? Do you give up, or do you keep pressing on? Successful people don’t give up. They commit themselves to reaching their final destination. This means continuing on despite failures and disappointments.

 

We understand that success encompasses a lot of different arenas. What works for financial success may not translate into relationship success. Being successful as a wife doesn’t necessarily make me successful as a business woman as well. There are varying degrees of success depending on what situation you are in.

Regardless, the fundamental backbone of success is trying your best. If you put forth your best effort, without harming others in the process, than you are a successful person. Mark Zuckerberg says, “Find that thing you’re passionate about.”

Can’t wait to build wealth with you guys! Hope you enjoyed it! Be blessed!

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Love Always,

Team Holmes

 

 

Faithing It!

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What’s Good World, It’s none other than your Boy, J-hov in the Range Rov!

We have all heard the saying, “Faith without works is dead, right?” Well that came from James 2:14-26.

I decided we should right about this topic because I was at work, (as usual), talking with one of my co-worker’s whose last day happened to be that day.  He had been at our job for a number of years and it was basically all he knew.  He was nervous about the unknown; anxious because this was something new.  The work was going to be new, the hours were new, and the environment was new.  But it was such a great opportunity.  An opportunity that would open new doors for his family, especially his daughter. And even though the opportunity looks soooooo good, why the hesitation.  FEAR!!!!!

The definition of FEAR is- an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Its synonyms are terror, fright, horror, alarm, panic, distress, and dread

Fear paralyzes you! My wife won’t mind me sharing this, but we know first hand how fear can paralyze you.  She was offered a position that was willing to pay her $6 dollars more per hour, better benefits, and awesome hours. She knew she was worth the pay, but fear of the unknown paralyzed her.  She had been at her job a long time, she was comfortable there and she moved up to Regional Manager. She knew all of the people and all of her patients and staff love her . Fear of the unknown bothered her daily and when it was time to make the decision, she declined.  And they wanted her baaaaaaaaad Y’all. They reached out to her a second time with an even better offer because they knew she was worth it and what did my wife do? She respectfully declined the position a second time.  She definitely had her reasons why she decided not to pursue to other company and I support her 100%, but I realize that fear can stop you dead in your tracks when you are trying to move forward in life and I vowed that day that I will not allow fear to keep my wife from reaching her full potential. We believe being in the right geographical location is also important for growth and feel we are being lead to relocate at some point.  Of course the fear of being away from our family, church home, and full support system would make anyone decide against moving away.  But that’s why it is important to take a step out on faith and trust God to lead our lives because what I found out to be the case in my life, is you are not going to have all of the answers ahead of time. Like I told you guys before, I knew for SURE that I was NEVER getting married. I had no intentions of being anyone’s husband. I didn’t know anything about marriage and I had not seen it modeled in a way that would make me pursue it. It was a chain of events as well as a divine intervention that caused me to change my whole perspective about marriage. (I’ll tell yall the story one day lol). I too, had to take a step out on faith when I got married and it is the best decision I could have ever made for my life.  I am the happiest I have ever been and I get to take this journey with my very best friend. I’m gonna give the mic back to her.

Hey Guys,

Y’all are probably yelling at me about not taking that job, but this is what the Holmes Confession Booth is all about; being transparent and sharing some real issues that happen on our journey.  Jim is right, fear certainly did creep in and I decided to decline the position TWICE! UGH! Now I realize that God has not given me a spirit of fear so I never have to be afraid to grow and move on to a new opportunity. It’s important to us to be lead by God in our decision making but it’s definitely important to exercise your faith by putting some action behind it.

If you want a new job, you can’t just say, “Lord, I want a new job!” And then expect Him to open up the windows of Heaven and pour you out a new position.  You will need to exercise your faith in Him by filling out applications, going on  interviews and affirming yourself by claiming your position. And don’t be scared like I was lol. Or even if you are a little scared; still step out on faith and do it scared. I had to speak in front of our congregation at church on Good Friday evening.  Now anyone who knows me knows I’m deathly afraid of public speaking! But I was obedient; got there on time and did it scared! And I’m glad I did!

You could just be going through a season in your life, and you’re like God why am I going through this test right now and it’s because you’re going from faith to faith and from glory to glory. God is preparing you for what he has called you to do. Sometimes, myself included, we just don’t want to walk by faith and grow. We don’t want to sit before the Lord to find out what his very best is for our lives. I could have married someone else. I could have said, well I already made plans and I don’t want to be embarrassed or swole,  so I’m going to go ahead with marrying this person anyway, knowing I have no peace about the situation.  I would have been just as miserable as can be and I certainly would not have married God’s very best for me.

I have a Holmes Confession to make. I know for sure that James Holmes is God’s very best for me and the Holy Spirit confirmed it before I walked down the aisle.  While I was holding my dad’s arm so tight from being so scared,  the Lord reminded of the time I was sitting in church service one evening and Apostle Raglin pointed me out from the back of the room and said that God was going to turn my world upside down, that I was in for a divine transformation and that he saw a relationship that God would completely transform. Right before I walked down the aisle, I had the peace that passes all understanding! I knew James Holmes was the ONE! (Look at that smile!)

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In the Bible, we have some great examples of people faithing it.

Remember when Abraham offered his son Isaac as a sacrifice on the alter? His faith made his action complete.

What about Rahab, the prostitute. Remember how she was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road.

The Bible says, Just as the body is dead without breath, so also is faith dead without good works. James 2:26 (NLT)

Faith is a secret weapon. We encourage you guys to start faithing it and let go of fear!

Be Blessed!

We Love you So Much,

Mr. & Mrs. James Holmes

Does growing up differently have to ruin your relationship?

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People grow up in extremely different environments and these environments can sometimes shape the way people interact when they get into relationships. 
 
Suppose you grew up poor and had to work for everything and are extremely frugal, but you are in relationship with someone who has had everything handed to them, so they spend money all of the time while you are constantly trying to save it.
 
Suppose you grew up with two parents in the home and your spouse was raised by a single parent, so your views on marriage are completely different because you haven’t seen it modeled growing up. 
 
Suppose you grew up in a family oriented environment where everyone ate dinner together at the dining room table, and your spouse is used to going their bedroom or eating in front of the television. 
 
Suppose you grew up, like me, with Rev. Dr. Freddie Rouse Anderson in a Christian household, where we were absolutely NOT allowed to celebrate Halloween, but then you marry someone who does not think their children should be deprived of participating in the festivities just because you could not. 
 
Suppose you grew up spoiled rotten, where you were not expected to wash dishes, clean up after yourself, do your own laundry or make your own money, but then get into a relationship with someone who worked for every dime they ever made and now expect you to continue spoiling them.
 
Suppose your family goes on multiple vacations throughout the year and your spouse has never been anywhere before and wants to now prevent you from traveling.
 
All of these are real scenarios that happen in relationships, and I’m sure you can come up with plenty more. These are issues that can create friction in your marriage but they don’t have to ruin it. I spoke with a woman who differences in growing up caused her and her husband to divorce.  She grew up extremely poor and began working quite early in life.  Her ex husband’s family was rich and he had never had to work a day in his life. He had a huge inheritance and spent money like crazy, while she saved money like crazy.  When they got married, he expected her to pay all of the bills because he never had to worry about such things. All of his money belonged to him so he decided to spend it on expensive clothes, gambling, and anything else he felt like spending it on.  He took lavish vacations when she was unable to get off from work and this behavior destroyed their marriage.  They ended in a terrible and costly divorce.
 
I was sorry to hear of her story and it made me think about plenty of people in relationships who grow up differently, including my husband and I. But we have determined to use that for the better and not for the worse. I’ll turn it over to Jim and he can explain how we use our different backgrounds to better our marriage.
 
What’s good yall! It’s Ya Boy!
My wife and I definitely grew up differently.  I didn’t see marriage modeled the way she did so if you ask her, she would tell you I was NEVER getting married and I meant it! She was extremely sheltered, while I ran the streets.  She is book smart, while I am street smart.  She grew up going to Disney World as a child and going on vacations every single year while I did not.  There are so many other ways we are different in our up bringing but our marriage will never suffer because of it; it actually balances us both out.
 
When we had marriage counseling, Pastor Peggy taught us that marriage is a designer original. You design your marriage! You get to write your story the way you want to.  And that’s what we are doing, by deciding to blend our differences.  It wasn’t until she took me on a cruise that I realized this is something I need to be doing all the time. There are so many things she has learned from me and that I have learned from her. Our differences actually create a healthy balance for our marriage.  If my wife is being extreme or emotional, she knows she can come to me to balance her out because I’m all LOGIC. She may want to shelter our kids while I may want to give them a little more freedom lol, (maybe NOT)! We will have to keep you guys posted on that.
 
Don’t ever let differences ruin your relationship.  It’s important to be understanding and open minded to how each other was raised and decide if it’s something you want to continue with, remove completely or just come up with your own brand new family traditions. We keep learning new things as we take this journey. Feel free to share your tips with us.
 
Be encouraged!
Until Next Time,
Mr. and Mrs. Holmes
 

What LANGUAGE Are you Speaking?

What are the 5 LOVE LANGUAGES?

 

Words of Affirmation– This language uses words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service– For this language, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts– For some people, they feel most loved when they receive a gift.

Quality Time– This language is ALL about giving the other person your undivided attention.

Physical Touch– For this person, the appropriate touch speaks volumes!

 

 

Some people may have more than one of the 5 love languages that are dominant and some people may speak more than one love language fluently.  It is important to find out the love language of the person you’re in relationship with and learn to speak it fluently. Let’s go deeper into them with some very practical ways you can speak your partner’s love language. Love languages don’t necessarily have to be for just your spouse. You can speak them when it comes to your children, family, and friends.

 

Words of Affirmation– For a spouse whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, reminding them of how attracted you are to them goes a LONG way. It’s something they will remember throughout the day.

 

Acts of Service– If your spouse has had a stressful day at work and they normally do the cooking or dishes as apart of their normal routine, take the load off of them and do it for them. They will greatly appreciate you!!!!

 

Receiving Gifts– You don’t have to spend a lot of money to speak this language. You know all of the places your spouse will visit throughout the day. You can leave a small gift in several of those places where he or she will find them. And even if this is the case with family or children, you can do this for them. They will love it.

 

Quality Time– You can plan something for you, your spouse, or your family. Turn phones off and just give each other your undivided attention.  This is huge for my dad. When he takes us all out to eat and we are having a family affair, the first thing he does is confiscate our cell phones lol. We all have to surrender them in the middle of the table and talk to each other. I love it!

 

Physical Touch– Your spouse may be frustrated with work or a project, and an unexpected hug or massage could be exactly what they need to push through. Don’t forget to cuddle up or put your arm around your spouse when you’re enjoying a movie or sitting closely if this is their love language.

 

Jim and I are always discussing marriage, and we are 100% committed to doing everything possible to make ours a successful one.  We took the 5 love languages test that we found on www.5lovelanguages.com and found out what our primary love languages are.  It gave us lots of insight on how each other feel about things.  You ever think it’s a nice gesture to give someone some expenses roses, just to find out they don’t even like flowers? It was a nice gesture, but wouldn’t you rather them be happy with what you chose. That’s what the 5 love languages test did for us and we enjoyed studying them.

 

I’ll let Jim talk about his experience with the 5 love languages test.

Hey World, It’s Ya Boy, J-hov in the Range Rov lol!

When taking the test, just make sure you have some time. It’s not long but it does make you think a little.  I found out that I already spoke my wife’s love language fluently.  Her primary love language is Acts of Service. So let me tell yall what ya Boy did for the wife on Sunday.

 

So, I had just got off after working a double, right? Got off Sunday morning and I knew my wife would be at church. I knew she had planned to go to the grocery store, clean the house, and cook dinner later that day so she had a whole list of chores to do and she assumed I would sleep all day after working two shifts, giving her time to get her stuff done.

 

What did I do???????? I’m glad you asked!!!

I got off work, stopped by the grocery store, got some fruit and all of the stuff we needed.  I went home and did ALL of my wife’s chores.  I cleaned the entire house. (NOT STRAIGHTEN IT UP!) I deep cleaned the house, counter tops, rearranged the living room and kitchen, cleaned out the refrigerator, washed dishes, then vacuumed and folded the clothes she washed.

 

When she came home, she thought she was in another house lol! I ain’t feeling myself or nothing but I did GOOD, yall. She couldn’t even speak lol. She said, “Babe, you did ALL my chores!” I’m like men can clean, Babe, this is light work lol! Anything for my wife; I live to make her happy so I got to speak her love language fluently.  She said, I don’t have to do ANYTHING accept cook. And I said, oh no you don’t, I’m going to take you out. So we even went out to dinner and got to celebrate 6 months of marriage.  There is no such thing as men chores and women chores. As the head of MY household, I’m responsible for every kind of chore there is anyway, my wife just takes them off of my hands and it was nice to turn the tables on her this time! I got her REAL GOOD!

 

Be encouraged! Have a Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Love Always,

Team Holmes