31 Days To A Wiser Marriage: Day 29

To Do: Read Proverbs 29

Focus Point: Proverbs 29:20 & 22

These two scriptures definitely go together. The New Living Translation of Proverbs 29:22 says, ” An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

These scriptures definitely apply to marriage.When it comes to your spouse, use wisdom when it comes to how you respond to them. The word of God says, “There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking”. Speaking without thinking leads you to getting angry and then starting fights. God is warning us against this in these 2 verses.

In marriage, it may seem difficult to do but it’s so important to think before speaking to avoid misunderstandings. Often times long-time intimate partners lose awareness. They are so familiar with each other that they just expect automatic forgiveness when they say something in a hurtful way. They forget to THINK that a more caring delivery is more likely to get them what they want.

Some people in long term committed relationships forget to think before they speak because they assume their partners would not get offended and understand what they really mean, but some things just down sting. Think about the very beginning of your relationship. You watched everything you said because you did not want to hurt their feelings. You have to go back to that now!

For example: When I was Pregnant with Prince Julian, I threw up most of the pregnancy and my husband had all of the cravings so he actually gained weight with me. What if I had said geesh babe, looks like we are both pregnant for real as big as you’ve gotten. ( I definitely did not say this, just using it as an example). But had I said something like that, even if it was jokingly, it could have hurt his feelings. If it were the very beginning of the relationship, I may have thought long and hard about how to say that and it would have come out like, Let’s get a gym membership and workout together because I want us to be healthy and for you to stick around for our future children.

Remembering how to say things in an effective and caring way doesn’t mean compromising integrity or honesty. Partners who have been together for a while need that kind of openness with each other. They want accurate feedback from someone they trust. But that isn’t a license for delivering truth with a pointed spear.

Affirmation of the day:

I use my words to uplift my spouse every single day.

 

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