Did you know that some marriages have been completely destroyed only because of what one spouse is saying to the other. The issue of bashing spouses has become a huge issue in marriage. Other marriages are on the verge of collapsing simply because they don’t realize that what they are saying is pulling down their marriage. When you use your mouth to bring down the other person with whom you’re in relationship with, you are doing damage to yourself as well, and what you speak is ultimately what you will receive. And as you keep confessing these things, you will continue to see a manifestation of what you are calling them. If you are constantly calling your wife a witch, then you will have created a full blown witch in your household, and not only will you be the husband of a witch, you too will be considered a witch. The Bible says that in marriage the two shall become one, correct? (See Mark 10:8). So if you are joined together with your spouse then you are going to become what you are calling them!
Watch that HAMMER of yours! If you are going to be using it on your spouse, then it must be for something good and begin to build them up. I get that when we get angry, crazy things fly out of our mouths and we use them on our spouses without thinking, but now that we realize the weight of what we are doing, we have to change what we are saying and the way we are saying them.
Alright Bible scholars, what are we taught in Romans 4:17? We are taught to call those things that be not as though they were, so if this is the case, then we should be calling our spouses what we want to see, not what we see physically. Maybe your spouse is acting funny, but call forth the virtues you would like to see vs the vices you may be seeing!
Remember that words are so powerful and the Bible teaches us in Proverbs 18:21, that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”. Your use of words are like using a hammer. You can build some really good things with a hammer, but you can also destroy some really good things with that exact same tool. Use the weapon in your mouth to build up your spouse and not to destroy the person you already have. I know it is not going to always be easy, but always keep in mind that you are sowing a seed when you speak and will eventually harvest later from whatever it is you are saying. In the midst of a heated discussion, watch your words, so that even if you are scolding, you are doing it in a way that is not bashing your spouse’s personality. You can try it from an encouraging perspective and let them know that you would like to see them operate in a way that you expect from them because you know they can and be sure to comment the good things they have done.
Continue to build your spouse up and keep in mind that when you’re building them up, you’re also building YOU up!
BE BLESSED ALL WEEK!
Continue to stay tuned; we have some awesome new things to share with you guys soon.
Hope you all had an awesome weekend. Here’s a clip of our Saturday! We did our Holmes Confession on the beach. It was freezing, but we had the best time ever!
JIM AND MAINE HOLMES