Submission??? What’s That???

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So we thought that we would discuss submission since for a lot of women it sounds somewhat like a curse word. For some reason we assume it’s synonym is door mat. Like I told you guys before, I had a single life that included doing as I pleased. I told ya’ll how I enjoyed traveling and going on vacation every year, even spending a month in Las Vegas. I have been attending the Marriage School at Seeds of Greatness for over 4 years now and we talk about submission all the time. It’s one of those subjects you know so much about but my Holmes confession is, I had no intention of ACTUALLY doing it!!!  WHY? Because it sounded like I would have to give up the power that I’ve had over myself and just give it to someone else and I wasn’t beat, plus I was a straight rebel. Ask my husband he will tell you! Terrible attitude but I’m just keeping it real. I’m like man please, I got my own stuff and I make my own money so ain’t nobody about to be telling me what to do. Talking about a hot mess and a half! But thank God for His word which taught me a some things about submission and ultimately changed my attitude about it. Let’s go to the Word!


We are reading from Ephesians 5:21-26

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

So the first part of this scripture says to submit to YOUR OWN HUSBAND!!! Not everyone else’s husband and not every man that comes into your life. In my quiet time, God gave me a revelation about this concept of submission that changed how I thought about it. First of all, I am the one who said I DO to my husband . I’m the one who chose to marry him; no one forced my hand, so no need to be complaining now. These are all things that popped into my head while I was spending time with God, and I thought about all the women who choose to marry men they are not willing to submit to. I thought about my husband because the Bible says submit to YOUR OWN HUSBAND as unto the Lord.  This meant to me that I take my husband out of the equation and do for him as if I’m doing for God. This makes it so much easier because I looooooooove the Lord! So if I’m mad at my husband, and I don’t feel like cooking for him, I immediately remember to serve him as unto the Lord. I know I would not behave that way to the Lord, so I don’t behave that way to my husband. It’s easy to roll my eyes, pop my neck, and mouth off to my husband. But it takes mountain moving strength to SHUT UP and be submissive to my husband and it is NOT always easy! I will have to admit that my husband makes it easy to submit to him because he absolutely shows me that he loves me like Christ loved the church. Now Christ died for the church! I have no doubt in my mind that my husband would give up his life for me because I have seen this in action with my own eyes. But what it more important is the way he dies to himself daily because he submits to God. What I found out is that when a wife is loved like Christ loves the church, then submission is not difficult.

Now the portion of the scripture that says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING.” This verse is saying that the wife is to submit to her husband in everything that is right and lawful. I, as a wife am under no obligation to disobey the law or God in the name of submission. So
A wife should submit to her own husband, not because women are inferior, but because that is how God designed the marital relationship to function. Now I know that submission does not mean that I’m a door mat, that my husband controls me or that I don’t have my own mind. I’ll let Jim discuss his views on submission!

What’s Up World, It’s Jay!


So let me start off by saying yes, my wife can be super defiant and was quite the rebel. I think it’s easy for her to submit to me because she trusts me. I’m her best friend and always have her best interest at heart. She knows that I am never going to rule over her or keep her from doing anything. I wanted to discuss the part of the scripture that says,  “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” I believe some wives take this to the extreme. Pastor just taught a message today on “Doing The Right Thing.” (Yes, I was listening Pastor Charles lol). If you know your husband is telling you to break the law or do something you know to be wrong, you have no business submitting to anything illegal.  When I lived on Front Street in Plainfield, a dude actually had his wife prostituting to make money for their family. She continued to submit to man who was pimping her out because he didn’t want to work and what’s worse is they had small children.  It is most definitely important for women to marry a man who loves God and is connected to Him, because they will follow the principles of God. They will love you, know not to abuse you, and have your best interest at heart. You would be surprised what husbands have their wives doing these days. I’m not saying that just because a man loves Christ, that he is somehow perfect; I am not perfect and no one is except Jesus. But I am saying that because I do my part, I make it easier for my wife to do her part. I told ya’ll she was defiant. It would be so much more difficult for her to submit to me if I weren’t doing my part. As a married couple, each spouse has to focus on doing the part God told them to do! If God told me to love her like Christ loved the church then that’s my assignment no matter how she is behaving. My wife could be so hungry and have a headache and a stomach ache. She could be wyling out on me or telling me to leave her alone, but my job is to feed her, hug her and still love her regardless; not get frustrated and decide I’m not going to cook for her and take care of her; that’s when she needs me the most. I’m still on the job so I have to do my assignment regardless her of her behavior. I recently received a recognition award at work for being a great worker. I have an assignment to do and there are people who have worked there longer than me who have never received an award because of the way they choose to work. It isn’t my job to look at the next person and say, “Well I’m not going to put any effort in because I see everyone else being lazy.” No, I can’t worry about everybody else; I have to do my job, and my hard work paid off. Check it out below.

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So back to my wife, her assignment is do be submissive to her husband, so she has to do her part. I can’t change her and she can’t change me. We both have to do our part and keep God at the center of our marriage. There is no cookie cutter way for a person to all of a sudden began to submit but the best advice is to learn to trust your spouse daily and focus on your part.

Be encouraged all week!

Love you guys!

Team Holmes

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